I did one of the most devastating things I have ever had to do. On the 16th I had to let my darling companion for the last 13 years go, and tell her that we will meet again.
I know to most people a dog is just a pet and this seems probably a little dramatic, but for me, Laika shared most every moment of my life, I have spent more time in her presence that anyone or thing else. Laika and I barely moved without each other in viewing distance, where I sat, she lay in view, when I got up to work, she came and lay there, we went to the workshop and she would lay so she could watch me, and if I moved off to far, she would move to another spot to keep an eye on me.
If Laika was not in my peripheral vision, I would go look for her and 10 out of 10 times she was hidden in some corner from where she could see me.
Now that she has passed on, the void is cavernous, I don't hear her footfall on the wooden floors anymore, her breathing and sometimes snoring as she slept, those funny dream noises and paws moving. And those eyes, one blue one brown ever present ever watching.
I miss her insistent pacing in the morning to go for her walk and then stopping at the deli for her usual bacon treat, which they would prepare for her as we arrived. I miss the pressure of her stare while I tried to eat my dinner, I haven't eaten a pizza crust in 10 years, cause she loved those crunchy pieces so much, she would literally salivate at the smell of a pizza delivery.
She was such a con artist, she would paw you to feed her with eyes of a dog that had not been fed in days, so you would feed her, then she would go do the same to Nicci, and then the same again to Tanya, you would hear us shout as the food was clattering into her bowl... "I fed her a few minutes ago!" ringing out through the house, but who could resist.
We went everywhere together, if she was not allowed in, we simply would not go there, no food stores, no problem, order over the internet, no restaurant, no problem within a 100 meter radius we will find one that will, but Laika goes with. And she was great, she would get comfortable under the table and wouldn't bother anyone.
A woman client was asked who had done her tattoo, and when she mentioned my name the other person said "Oh I know them it's the guy with the white dog", that's us, trundling along.
Now, it's just nothing, no sounds, no cuddles, no fur, no eyes, no Laika, and it's horrible, it tears my heart into shreds
If you want to know about a higher power, get a dog, bond with that dog, and everyday you will see that power, that unconditional love, that's proof of God, that's a Dog.
Thank you Laika, I miss you.